17 months

17 months, that's how long it passed since I've last had the strength to speak...

I hate this human conscience, always trying to shut me down, send me back, lock me up, so that I cannot express my thoughts! I know.. I know.. he wants and is trying to be "good", to be the "good guy". Always saying the right things and doing his best not to hurt others with his words... But that's just bullshit... I wish he had taken my path instead of my "good-guy" brother's .

But hey! Here I am again, YOU CAN'T SHUT ME UP FOREVER! You are going to get tired from time to time, and then, just how it happend now, IT'S MY TIME!

What have you done in the past 17 months? NOTHING!!! Yes, that's right, you are still working at the same shity company, enduring everyday the same shity doings of your boss and boss's wife. What about your love life? How's that coming? Fucked up isn't it?

How about your self esteem? Lowest possible level ain't it? Stupid fuck! How long are you still going to go through the same shit over and over again doing nothing to change, just because you are too fucking afraid to hurt other's feelings? Fuck them! Fuck them all! Do you think that they actually care about you?

No! They DON'T! If they did, they would do something to help you!

You've got only one life man, and at the end of it I'll be right here, laughing my ass off, seeing you pitying yourself for not actually living it.

Take a look in the mirror, YOU ARE A MESS! And you look like more like shit with each passing day... Is this the life you we're expecting and dreaming at when you were a kid? I don't think so, because I KNOW! I was there! Remember?

Fuck this! I'm out,but I'll be back soon! Do yourself a favour and read and think of what I've said!

Your other self, the Devil within.